Comparison-itis: The Thief of All Leadership Fulfillment

I generally find that comparison is the fast track to unhappiness. No one ever compares themselves to someone else and comes out even. Nine times out of ten, we compare ourselves to people who are somehow better than us and end up feeling more inadequate.

Jack Canfield

The business world can be very frustrating, trying and draining. Day in, day out you’re dealing with corporate politics, competitiveness and, yes, back-stabbing at times. Don’t you at times feel like you’re living out your worst nightmare? You’re caught in this trap of one-upmanship and trying to be the “big attraction”. You’re constantly comparing yourself to others. Essentially, keeping up with the Joneses no longer applies to just what goes on in your neighborhood. It’s ruling your corporate career as well.

However, the continually trying to keep up with others may have left you with a career or business that you’re no longer enthusiastic about. Or you’re working for a company that is a far cry from your dream organization.

The question then becomes – how do you break out of the vicious cycle and learn how to stop feeding the comparison gremlins at work? There are two key elements that leaders or emerging leaders must get extremely comfortable with in order to accomplish this:

1. Challenge themselves to follow an uncommon career path. Why did you select your current career or company? Maybe because it paid well. Or your family or friends thought that you would be good at it. You wouldn’t have a long commute. You thought it would provide you with stability. It was what you went to school for. It was your day job and you thought you’d leverage it into a business. While these factors are great – they’re not what keep you motivated in the long run. We all hear that we should be grateful in this economy to even have a job. Yet, if you’re honest, if the job or the company isn’t what you truly want, you’re harboring deep down resentment, which spills over no matter what. Clinging on to security is what will keep you from getting to the true job satisfaction you crave. Let’s be honest – there really isn’t much job security nowadays. Plus, the notion that you risk job security when you ask for what you want is outdated. It’s what has kept people stuck in relationships and jobs they don’t like. Start exploring what you want your career to look like to achieve the satisfaction and recognition you want. And then take action. Baby steps are totally fine. Believe it or not, your career is one of the most controllable areas in your life that you can plan for and can change. It’s just that you have to put a little elbow grease into the process. Nobody can tell you exactly what to do or do it for you. Yet, the rewards are tremendous when you start putting things into motion.

2. Develop their own unique leadership style. There are a ton of leadership and personality assessment tests that are implemented within Corporate America. They can be exciting in the beginning, but tend to quickly be filed away. After all, who really thinks proactively about how you were assessed and what the “recommended leadership style” is for you? In the beginning you might be mindful of what others said about you during your 360 assessment, but when you’re pushed toward deadlines and sales numbers, you operate from a mode that helps you accomplish those goals. Instead of trying to follow some prescribed cookie-cutter leadership style, go and make your own assessment. What do you see as your strengths and weaknesses? You can then ask those around you to give you some traits as well. Also notice when you’re feeling really good about yourself at work, how were you showing up? In the same vain, when you’re frustrated and unhappy, were you displaying behaviors that actually go against your core being? Make it a game to become your own 360 degree observer. List everything that provides you with energy to succeed and also what depletes you. Based upon this list, make a conscious effort to utilize those traits and behaviors that are what makes you unique and gives you drive. Also to tie in with the first element – be honest and assess whether your own unique leadership style is a fit for your current company. If not, decide to make a choice to find an organization where your style is rewarded.

Your career can be tremendously exciting and fulfilling. You can have this sense of being really good at something, inspiring others and finding fulfillment. However, to put a better spin on the line “Anything you can do, I can do better.” – Why not see it more as a challenge to yourself to improve your own career satisfaction instead of trying to keep up with others are doing?