Are You Cheating Yourself Out of Your Dreams?

Truly Alive

Living to please was exhausting.  She had to leave their expectations behind. Listening to her heart, she followed.  Following her heart, she danced. And she began to feel truly alive.

~Terri St. Cloud~

I’ve been hearing from a lot of wonderful ladies who are so ready to break out of their shell and finally follow their passion or calling. However, with all their enthusiasm, their efforts to create joy seem to come to a screeching halt.   As in a mile-long brake trail on the road. Yep, that nasty. What if I told you that the biggest joy robber in life is no one other than yourself? You’re the one putting those brakes on. Most of us don’t like to hear that we might be the joy robber. After all, how could it be us? It’s the fault of our employer, partner, parents, family, friends or the economy. Okay, I’ll ‘fess up – I’m really guilty of using my non-traditional childhood “issues” as the excuse for not being where I “want to”. So, since I got honest with you, how about you? Are you now willing to admit that there might be one area in your life that you fall back on to fault for things and cheat yourself out of living exactly how you want to?

Yes, you say. But you feel like you’re in this never-ending cycle that you can’t break out of. I can relate! Let me share with you how you can stop cheating your mind and body and get exactly what you need when you need it.

• Get 100% clear on what you TRULY WANT. For every area of your life (job, relationship, health, spirituality, and money), start a list of everything that you want. The words “don’t want” can’t appear anywhere on the sheet of paper. Only “I want XXX”. No matter how outrageous or unattainable it might seem to you at the moment, just put it down. This is also an ongoing list to be added to whenever you discover something new that will bring you joy or make your heart sing. For the Type-A’s out there (including myself), think of it as a tracker or inventory list. And what’s the purpose of this list? Well, when you start to notice that you’re putting the brakes on and you’re inner nay-sayer is taking over – put the brakes on your monkey brain instead. Come to a full stop and say: “Okay, I’m stuck in thinking about what I DON’T WANT. I am now shifting gears and focusing on what I truly want. Then pull something from your want list and re-focus on it. Give yourself a few moments to sit still and inwardly experience the bliss you’ll be getting from the thing that you want. Think about what it means to you – maybe independence, happiness, creativity or courage. Be patient with yourself in the process. It takes practice to move into focusing on what we want. The media is quite good at keeping us stuck in focusing on our faults. Plus, when you start to go after what you want, she rile up people around you because they’ve set expectations for you. That’s where Terri St. Cloud’s poem above is a great reminder.
• Schedule and execute. Got your attention with this? Well, it’s all about the actions! And I’m saying the same diligence to give to your “to do” or “task” lists for your job and home activities, you need to give to your passion and wants.   After you’ve identified your wants, then create a list of everything you can do to help realize what you want. Then you start to schedule your commitments on your calendar and execute upon those scheduled activities. This is how you get exactly what you need when you need it.   Also, the reason I said that you’re cheating your mind and body when you don’t follow your wants, is that your dissatisfaction not only shows up as incessant mind chatter or mind games, but typically also impacts your entire biochemical system due to the stress going on. When you start to take the time for following your dreams and see results from your actions, you experience a whole host of positive emotions, which greatly impact your physically well-being. It’s like a 2-for-1. You might feel like you don’t want to schedule yourself for your bliss activities, but in my own experience and from coaching others, unless you put it on the calendar – you’ll let the fun time go by the wayside. Everything else, including TV and Internet time, takes priority. And this is why you’re too exhausted and end up putting the brakes on when you start to see momentum in following your passions. So, no excuses – schedule your commitments and stick to that blocked out time.

And don’t forget to soak in the words of the above poem from Terri St. Cloud “Listening to her heart, she followed. Following her heart, she danced. And she began to feel truly alive.” Here’s to you truly coming alive!