Time’s Up for Toxic Leadership: Moving from Power-Driven to Impact-Driven

Every one of us has a combination of masculine and feminine qualities.  Instead of suppressing your feminine qualities because society may view them as less valuable, try tapping into those qualities personally and professionally as a source of power.

Amy Stanton

When you read and watch the news or jump onto social media, you’re inundated with examples of why we’re in a very turbulent time. It’s very easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole of negativity and question whether there are solutions to the current state of affairs.

What if this is actually a very necessary process to bring all that isn’t working to the surface? Just as a seed has to push through the dirt to bloom, we may need to look more closely to Mother Nature’s processes to understand how we as humans need to grow, too.

The news is showing us that our leadership models no longer work and need to evolve. The traditional power-grab, command and control, emotionless style is toxic and doesn’t address our current leadership needs in business, politics and family-arena. That’s why it’s time’s up for toxic leadership.  We need leaders to move from being power-driven to impact-driven.  What does this mean? It means that as a leader, you are concerned about the positive impact you want to make in this world and not about the glory you’ll receive.

I should caveat that I firmly believe that toxic masculinity is exemplified by both male and female leaders. This isn’t to single out only men. Both men and women have been brainwashed to believe that typical masculine qualities are what shape a successful leader.  How do we then create this shift from toxic masculine leadership to impact-driven leadership? The solution is to integrate what are considered feminine qualities to allow for harmony between healthy masculine and feminine traits. I recently came across several podcasts with Amy Stanton and Catherine Connors who are the co-authors of a new book titled “The Feminine Revolution: 21 Ways to Ignite the Power of Your Femininity for a Brighter Life and a Better World.”  (Note: I ordered the book, but haven’t read it, yet.)

Here’s what jumped out for me after I listened to several podcast interviews relating to the book:

• As women, we need to give ourselves the permission to express our innate feminine qualities, such as being emotional, intuitive, crying openly, showing our weakness and mothering. We’ve been told to believe that these are weaknesses. They’re not when expressed in a healthy fashion.
• Women have been encouraging men to embrace feminine qualities, but haven’t done so for themselves. Look at areas where you would like to express your feminine traits and values more. Then express it in a way that’s unique to you.
• We can be both without any contradictions. You can be both mothering and powerful.  You can be sensitive and strong. You can be decisive and intuitive. See your feminine qualities as a gift that is in harmony with healthy masculine qualities.

We’ve let toxic masculinity rule the roost in leadership values and structures. This might have served us in some aspect, but in order for us to shape a better world, this has to change. Our leaders need to evolve from “Me” to “We”. They need to ask themselves how they can make the world a better place. Many of us women have felt powerless in how to tackle this issue. That’s why I believe that the craziness that we’re seeing right now has created an opening for women to move from powerless to empowered. But as Amy Stanton suggests – try tapping into your feminine qualities as a source of power. We need more female change leaders who follow this approach and not just emulating the toxic style used traditionally. Fight evil with the power of good. Be a creator of your circumstances and not a victim of your circumstances.

My challenge to you is for you to ask yourself:

1. What feminine qualities have I suppressed?
2. How would I like to show up by expressing these qualities?
3. What impact do I want to have by exemplifying my authentic values?

Here’s to allowing ourselves to embrace both feminine and masculine qualities to redefine leadership and create new models!